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Where’s My Weapon?

Ahhh, it’s a new year and a new decade even!  2020 has begun, whether we were ready for it or not. Many people get excited about making resolutions.  Who doesn’t, right?  We often vow that this year will be different than prior years, as we set goals to become better.  However, through our own weaknesses, our commitment to those resolutions also become weak.  We are tempted to break what we promised would change us.  Sound familiar?
 
I, for one, am not a fan of resolutions.  After all, it seems to be the cliche thing to do upon the new year’s arrival.  Yet, the idea behind it is not so terrible.  We all wish to better ourselves, whether it be to lose weight, save money, or just live life to the fullest.  Some go as far to say that they will attend church more often, read the Bible more, and get closer to God.  Cue the enemy…
 
I, too, am one of the popular statistics that has promised myself in years past to be “a better Christian.”  Sure, my intentions were good and my heart was on board, until the enemy used it against me.  Time to read my Bible became more non-existent, leaving my mind and heart exposed.  Sure, I thought I was leaving my house daily clothed with my full armor, feeling like I was ten feet tall and bulletproof.  Except, I wasn’t.  I left off the most important piece of armor that could have changed my days of aggravation and despair—my sword.
 
Many days passed where I felt so weak spiritually that I didn’t even recognize myself.  I would find myself encouraging others, using scriptures that would come to my mind.  I tried to hold it all together for everyone else, making sure that their problems were fixed, thinking I was the glue.  In reality, I was trying to do for others what I failed to do for myself.  I was giving out more “daily bread” than I was taking in.  You’ve heard the story about safety precautions on an airplane, where it’s important to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others, right?  I found myself making sure others could breathe while the oxygen was next to nothing in myself. 
 
If denying myself “oxygen” wasn’t enough, the enemy trampled my belief system due to the absence of my weapon.  Yes, he used the word against me, mocking me for being a christian without the complete armor.  The sad thing was, he was right and I felt horrible for it.  I knew better!  It was bad enough that I found myself in a slump, feeling beaten and bruised for not doing what I knew to do.  But, to have the enemy point it out to me, all while laughing at my moment of weakness?  How degrading! After all, the enemy knew exactly what he was doing.  Filling up my time with “busyness” until I was depleted of spiritual strength was the very thing he planned for my demise.  Otherwise, he would have been destroyed the moment he opened his mouth.
 
That was my moment of truth.  Through it all, I heard that familiar small still voice, saying “how much longer will you go unarmed?”  Jesus was there, waiting patiently for me to come to myself, realizing what the problem had been all along.  Armor is great, but if you don’t have a weapon, it’s difficult to defend yourself, right?  All I had been doing was balling up in a fetal position like a baby, taking punches from the enemy day after day because I couldn’t fight back.  He was taking advantage while he could, throwing jabs to my mind like a punching bag.  Just like the prodigal son, I had my “aha” moment in my pigpen, coming to myself, realizing God made me for so much more than this.
 
At that moment, I realized what had been missing from my hand and from my daily walk with God.  The comparison of the word of God to a two-edged sword was not by accident.  When you have it in your mind and your heart, you can conquer what the enemy throws your way.  You can block his attempts to assassinate your very being, even if it is little by little.  Having the sword of the Spirit in your hand gives you the winning edge over any attacks the enemy designs.  No wonder he was sly in diverting my attention and time away from the word of God!
 
Call it a resolution, if you will, but I call it more of battle inventory.  If I ever feel like I’m drowning in the attacks of the enemy, I will know to first examine my battle gear.  If something is missing in my armor, the exposure could be crucial.  Whether you decide to make a resolution or not, make sure that the one thing you change about this year is your exposure to the enemy.  Be bold. Be courageous.  Be armed fully!

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